The shocking news came to me one morning when ate remie called me para ibalita na patay na si papa.I was speechless.I was riding a bus at that time papunta sa market.Di ako makaiyak.Nabigla ako.My knees are shaking but i can't cry at di ko namamalayang naglalakad ako na parang wala sa sarili then finally i bursted into tears.Umiyak ako ng umiyak dun sa labas,nagtataka ang mga tao sa akin.I can't help it,di ko talaga matago ang nararamdaman ko.I went home and called my boss,that time nasa singapore sya.Nang malaman nyang namatay ang father ko,she rushed home and arranged an early flight for me.

I arrived in the philippines at exactly 7 pm via cathay pacific.Ate remie and kuya frank picked me at the airport.I was restless.Di ko maintindihan ang nararamdaman ko.It was a mixed feeling of emotion.Di ko alam ang mararamdaman ko if i will see papa sa ganitong sitwasyon.We arrived in Arlington Funeral homes in araneta avenue.Sa pinto pa lang ng malawak na room na yun,di ko na napigilan ang sarili ko.I bursted into tears.Ganito pala ang feelings na mawalan ng minamahal,especially when it is your father.I can't understand the pain in my heart.For ten long years di ko sya nakita.Matagal kong pinangarap na makita sya,mayakap at maipadamang mahal na mahal ko siya.But now,seeing him in the white casket,all my hopes is gone.Napalitan ng panghihinayang,pagsisisi.How can i make him see that i love him so much? that i longed for the time na magkasama-sama kami ulit? We set our family reunion para sa tribute nya sa feb 15,because we want to give him a big surprise,pero nagbago lahat ng plano.We didn't plan na ganito ang mangyayari.Akala ko makakaabot pa sya sa jubilee celebration pero di na rin sya nakaabot.Masakit man i can't make him live again,enjoy his company kahit sa maikling panahon.That's my only regret..ang di ko sya nakita at nakasama..

But life has to go on.Everything changes.I know mas masaya si papa sa kalagayan nya ngayon.At least nakapagpahinga na rin sya.Inspite of what happened,i have an inner peace dahil nawala man syasya sa amin physically,he died victorious in the name of the Lord.

Nailibing sya last monday sa Manila Memorial Park in Dasmarinas Cavite,supported with some relatives and friends in UPC,ministers and bible school students of ACTS bible school.Pastor Apollo Quiboloy,a very dear friend whom we considered an extended family in davao,and some of his members,pastor joe Quiboloy and her wife  graced the wake  to pay tribute  to the man of God.

We also want to thank all the pastors,Rev.navallo,the Pestanos,Rev.Ompad,pastor Bodegas sa madamdaming mga mensaheng kanilang ibinigay.Salamat sa lahat ng dumalo.I always remembered this day,this moment.I will always miss my father,we will miss him so much..if only he is alive i want to tell him how much i love him,how much i care..I love you,my dear papa..goodbye,for now...

Boy,as expected, I"m too lazy to write again! It's been almost 3 weeks since i've last written.Time really flies..within these 3 weeks,so many things happened..too much work.. too fast.. Hongkong is a nice place to live but dangerous if you have no money ( especially on my own) with no one to turn to with problems,I'm still desperate need of dollars..no matter what happens.I'll be deep debt until the end of this year.Hopefully, i will be able to make something big and build a huge career on my own..someday..Well,at least, it's not that i don't have LOVE.. I don't need it this year,,I'ts even better to give me this year to grow..to pay off debts..to be free on my own before i jump into a relationship.I'm waiting patiently, even though i feel very lonely at times, but i know that it's for the best that i resist for the rest of this year.I really want to fall in love,really fall in love.I mean, i have loved a hundred times..they made me feel truly inlove..but no one has made me truly special...Is it to hard to to love??I know it's better to be loved, than to love someone,at least, this way,i don't have to worry about getting hurt.So nice to hear about others having had a real love.I think that nothing will be happening 'til next year.Meanwhile,I'll just to set my mind to work,pay off debts and enjoy as much as possible.When next year comes, hopefully,it'll be a good turnaround and i'll be doing much better than now.Why this major lesson fell on me? I really can't understand why...